Reason for Relationship - Agent of Change
By Josh Goh Reason for Relationship Building a strong relationship with youth is great but if we dont impact the youth, then what are we really building the relationship for? Ultimately, we want to make a difference in the lives of youth. People not Programs Its not about what programs you run, its about the people you want to impact. Having a whole slew of programs is great, fun, and exciting but is it life-changing? We are in the business of making a difference and changing lives. That means redefining attitudes and mindsets. That means challenging youth to get out of their comfort zone and push themselves to rise up to the next level. Note: we said push themselves, not you push them. The motivation to make changes in their lives should be intrinsic, that is, naturally and self-motivated. Hows that going to happen? Through your relationship with them and through your life example. Weve already said, more is caught than taught. Youth are saying, Your actions speak so loud, I cant hear what you say. Were sure youre feeling like, Wow, thats such a high standard. Im not sure Im up for that. Dont panic! Your life is a journey and a process just like your youths. With regards to your relationship, one of my favorite books says, As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Both you and your youth will feel challenged to do better; to grow beyond what youre comfortable with. Change Isn’t Easy Its like a crab shedding its shell. As a crab matures, it breaks out of its hard crusty shell and begins the process of forming a new one. Its life is marked by a passage through successive shells until a shell is built so durable that it cannot be broken. This shell stops growth and then becomes the crabs coffin. Sometimes, all it takes for change to happen is the loving tap of a friend on our shells to realize that we have become confined and need to break out of a shell of comfort, a bad habit, or other qualities in our life that have confined us before the shell gets too hard and becomes a coffin. Change isnt easy. It is natural for us to resist change, to step up into unexplored territory. Many times, well elect to do it the way its always been done in order to avoid the agony of change. If you always do what youve always done, youll always get what youve always got. Other times, we choose not to say something or hesitate to act for fear well say or do something wrong. Yes, you will make mistakes and you will fail but the only real failure is the failure to learn anything from your mistakes. Dont beat yourself up that things didnt happen according to plan and your youth arent responding at all to all your effort or if your youth program isnt growing and youre feeling the pressure for results from the top. Most supervisors will focus on results and numbers. Its their responsibility to challenge you to do produce results to justify time and spending; your responsibility is to build people, not programs. To Boldly Go… This whole relationship building thing might be that unexplored territory that youve never stepped into before. Maybe youve always just run a program that is mainly centered on organizing activities for youth. It doesnt matter what youve done in the past; what matters is what youre going to do from today onwards. Whatever you decide to do and whatever changes youre even deciding to make right now in your lifestyle or the way you do youth work, always remember that the one underlying factor in everything we do should be love. We need to genuinely love our youth. Love thats not motivated by selfish reasons or personal fulfillment; unconditional love. All the programs that we run, the activities we plan, the time we spend with our youth means nothing if we dont genuinely, unconditionally love youth. But if you do love them, then thats all the foundation you really need. We can teach you everything you need to know about youth work but if you never build that on the foundation of love, your whole program is going to collapse on you one day. Thats the one essential, over arching principle. Love your youth. Key Leaning Points: The only failure in life is the failure to learn from your mistakes. Build people, not programs. Love your youth. Joshua has more than 10 years of experience working with youths and currently works for PromiseWorks as their Head of Mentorship and co-created an online resource site, http://www.YouthDevelopmentResources.com. He has a unique perspective from that of a young person who is both a protg in a mentoring relationship and also responsible for promoting mentoring for PromiseWorks. His primary passion in life is to create awareness about mentoring within Singapore, develop mentorship programs including content development, working with mentors as volunteers, and ensuring that PromiseWorkss mentoring program remains relevant to youth in Singapore. Realizing he was spending more time searching for or developing effective youth resources than he was spending time with the youth, he and his mentor Ken Sapp co-created Youth Development Resources, http://www.YouthDevelopmentResources.com to cater to this need. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Josh_Goh http://EzineArticles.com/?Reason-for-Relationship—Agent-of-Change&id=485004 where can i order phentermine buy phentermine usa phentermine from kenwood pharmacy buy phentermine without rx